Ian Grant – The importance of mothers

Posted 23 August 2013

400x255 Ian Grant

Ian Grant is the founder of the Parenting Place and a respected authority on parenting.

Am I welcome in the world? Mothers answer ‘Yes!’

A friend of mine was operating on a powerfully built gang leader, when he noticed a heart tattoo on his arm with an arrow through it with the words ‘I love Mum.’

My friend wisely waited until the anaesthetic was taking affect and asked, “Why do you have a pansy tattoo like that on your arm?”

The groggy answer was “Cause’ they’re the last person in the world to let you down!”

Neuroscience tells us every baby comes into this world looking for someone looking for them.

Also every brain needs to be connecting with other human brains to be healthy, that person/brain is usually their mother.

For the first eighteen months of a child’s life they feel as one with their mother.

“Mother and baby need to get to know each other by being responsive in each other’s presence their learning to decipher each other’s language. …….. This is our very first love relationship. The patterns of this dance will be the blueprint on which other relationships are built.”  - Mary Sutton, child psychotherapist.

As I have stuttered since the age of six, I am so grateful to my mother the way she not only believed in me but gave me hope that my disability would not control my life.

She actually taught me the resilient quotient, even though HarvardUniversity had not defined it back then:

  • Hope built on reality.
  • Meaningfulness of life.
  • Innovative survival.

Interestingly my career is a parenting communicator on radio, TV and events, just proof again of the power of a mother’s love and leadership.

I enjoy this cute story: A teacher gave her class of 7 year olds a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: “My full name has six letters. The first one is M, and I pick up things. What am I?” When the papers were all in the teacher was astounded to find that almost fifty percent had written in, mother.

It says it all.

I knew my mother was elderly and sick, I handled that in my left-side bloke’s brain well, but at her funeral I just burst into tears, you see I had lost that beautiful human being who loved me no matter what! And grief flooded the right-hand side of my brain, which I was not prepared for.

As Professor Hugh Foot UK specialist in child psychology and social development, University of Strathclyde says:

“Children are born with the innate capacity to be happy or sad, irrespective of genes. Early interactions are crucial. Children smile from their early days. They even smile when they are sick. When mothers see them smiling, the tendency to smile back is instinctive. There is a self fulfilling reinforcement cycle of smiling at each other. As long as there are cuddles, laughing and engaging in other close, intimate behaviour, the scene is set for a good childhood. The early months are crucial.”

So to all those mothers who make this nation what it is, keep taking the vitamins because  we all need love and are so thankful for our wonderful mothers!

*What do you think?   Is the role of a mother still valued by today's society?